This year I will not be teaching my kids to make New Year’s Resolutions. There will be no grand gesture to stop bickering, clean our rooms more often or eat more veggies. I know it’s tradition, but here’s why it’s not going to be our tradition.
Change is good. Self-Improvement is good. But it has to happen when a person is ready. A drug addict does not succeed in rehab unless they really want to be there. A healthy exercise plan does not work if the person isn’t truly dedicated to what they are doing. And the same is true for children.
I want my children to have a healthy relationship with themselves. All their strengths and weaknesses are a part of what makes them unique. What I really want for them is to learn to use their strengths and weaknesses to become successful adults.
Could Sweet Boy resolve to be friendlier in 2018? Sure, but strangers make him very uncomfortable. And with his great number skills, I could see him being a great accountant or programmer someday where he doesn’t have to work with strangers a lot. Could Girlie resolve to be less bossy in 2018? She could, but she’s actually really good at communicating what she wants and that could translate into her being a great leader.
As for cleaning their rooms, eating their vegetables and bickering less- we worked on all those things in December, and we’ll still be working on them in February. They are not just January goals. As they grow older, they will realize that a clean room makes it easier to find their toys, their tummies feel better when they eat their vegetables and kind words are more effective than bickering words. They will realize those things when they are ready and hopefully they will commit to those basic concepts at some point. I’m quite sure it will be because they really want to not because the calendar tells them it is time to make resolutions.
Wishing everyone a happy and healthy 2018.
Photo by marcoverch 
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